Death by idiocy
I'm going to have a stroke. Maybe not right this second, but I doubt my blood pressure can stay at 197/93 for long without any ill effects, considering my risk for blood vessel rupture. So, while I wait for the Procardia capsule I just swallowed to take effect, I guess I should leave some kind of written record of what's going on--just in case the Procardia proves to be no match for the stupidity I've been dealing with and my next of kin decide to sue the people responsible.
This is the problem in a nutshell: a certain county hospital in California and their collection agency want about $3,000 from me for an ER visit that took place almost 4 years ago, which should have and would have been paid in full by my insurance company, IF the inept billing department had bothered submitting a claim to them. Now that the timely filing period is over, and the visit is too old for my insurance company to do anything with, they've decided to make me pay for their incompetence, despite the fact that I submitted my insurance information to them at the time of my visit, and again when they sent me the bill. When I didn't receive any more bills, I thought my insurance company had paid in full, as they'd done for all of my other ER visits to that hospital, prior and subsequent. Over three years went by before the hospital got around to sending me to collections. The collection agency then sat on it for several more months before deciding that maybe I should know about this. In the meantime, additional charges have mysteriously been added to my bill.
If I were rich, I'd pay them whatever exorbitant charges they happened to pull out of their ass just to shut them up and get my life back. Because I don't have that kind of money lying around, I've spent the better part of a year writing letters, faxing documents, trying to reason with the hospital billing department, filing appeals with my insurance company, talking to the president of my insurance company (who has had to write me refund checks in the past because they're not so bright either), convincing the collection agency to hold off reporting the account to the credit bureaus, and just now I've completed several more rounds of phone calls to all parties involved. I have spent 10 hours on the phone this past week alone, but I've made ZERO progress, and I still can't wrap my mind around this idiocy. But, here are some highlights of my useless conversations anyway:
"Because I live in New Jersey."
"Oh my God," she says, as if living in New Jersey was irresponsible on my part, and as if she were the one paying the long distance phone bill.
I just need to know: if the billing department isn't submitting or re-submitting claims, properly preparing statements, talking to insurance companies, or calling patients, what the fuck ARE they doing that I have to spend 30 minutes on hold, get disconnected when the ringing goes unanswered, and repeat the process twice more before someone takes my call??? What could they be so damn busy with, if none of the above falls under their responsibility??? Apparently, the Better Business Bureau gave them an "F" for a reason. Which doesn't seem to concern the hospital, as they haven’t responded to a single complaint filed through the BBB.
With the exception of my dealings with one other hospital that tried to bill me for a fictitious surgery and refused to honor my requests for my medical records until I threatened legal action, I generally manage my billing and insurance disputes in a very civil manner, even in the face of major stupidity and incompetence. However, this current fiasco has raised my blood pressure to nose-bleed levels and used up so much of my dwindling supply of patience that I ended one of my calls to the hospital in a way I've never had to before:
"Your stupidity is making my nose bleed. I need to hang up."
After I cleaned up my bloody nose and dealt with my elevated blood pressure, I made the mistake of getting the mail, where I found a parking citation addressed to me, accusing me of parking at an expired meter at a NJ university's recreation center. I should know better by now, but considering it was legally, physically, and logically impossible for me to have been responsible for the offense, I truly thought it would only take a quick 3 minute phone call to sort it out.
I got as far as giving her the citation number, then it was as if I was talking to the dolts at the hospital again. For half an hour, I explained that a.) I don't have a NJ drivers license. b.) I've only had one vehicle ever registered under my name c.) That vehicle, which I no longer own, is in California. d.) I just moved to NJ from CA, where I've been for the last 5 years, and e.) I was out of the country on the day I supposedly parked illegally. After all of that, she asks for my university ID number. I explained the facts to her all over again, and though she managed to comprehend the fact that I have no affiliation with the university, she failed to grasp anything else, and still insisted it was my ticket because my name is what comes up when they run the vehicle information in their system. We argued some more before she finally agreed to check again and report back to me with the source of her information. She called me back later and told me the car must be registered to someone at my residence.
“But you have nothing stating the car is registered to me specifically, correct?”
“Well, you’re one of the people who live at that address.”
“And there are three other people at this address who actually own a vehicle and have NJ licenses. How did you decide to assign responsibility to me?”
“Your name is the one it pulled up.”
“What is it, a magic eight ball???”
“No! Your name comes first alphabetically.”
“Wow, that’s a much better system, but you need to make another random guess, because that's not my vehicle.”
By some miracle, she finally agreed to do more than "see what comes up" and transfer responsibility to the real owner of the car. If she's done her job correctly, this is now my brother's issue to deal with. I feel a little sorry for him, but I've done my time.
On an oddly related note, I've done some major redecorating around here. Between phone calls and while listening to hold music (why can't they play stand up comedy instead?), I've been revising a free template I found. Since I started out totally clueless about HTML and CSS stuff, and because I love my old look, I really didn't expect this to turn into a useable template. I was only working on it to distract myself from all of the idiocy, but I really surprised myself with how much I learned and how much of it I was able to change to my liking, so, this will be my look for a while. I'm still making some adjustments, and comments/criticism are welcome!
Edit: My template's broken already. My background disappeared :(
Edited edit: I made my own background instead!
Labels: healthcare, idiocy
Posted by Girl, Dislocated at 12:48
17 Comments:
Wowzers. It sounds like you could use about five personal assistants! Good luck on getting all that sorted out, I can't imagine the amount of stress it's probably causing you.
I like the new layout a lot, especially the picture! It was definitely a pleasant surprise. For never having worked with HTML I'd say you did very well for yourself.
By 
Orpheus, at
14:04
Um, lost my concentration when I saw your picture. Damn girl! You are gorgeous!!
I'm sorry for all the trauma . . . I've been dealing with a similar issue with the dentist, but not quite as ridiculous. Good luck with it all and keep us updated!!
By Kateastrophe, at
16:01
Holy crap, you are gorgeous.
*feels like a fangirl*
By Iselyahna, at
17:31
Hospitals are truly amazing entities. They expect payment for their services within 90 days but do not want to pay any bills for 180 days. The fact that this happened 4 years ago, when you had insurance, and they are the responsible billing party who failed to do this should absolve you from the situation... but of course there really is no statute of limitations.
By New York City's Watchdog, at
20:51
Aaaaggggh. I further meant to say that the whole ticket thing is a prime example of a bureaucracy laden with laziness... particularly since you don't have a car registered to you.
Love the template... but I still hate blooger.
By New York City's Watchdog, at
20:53
holy crap.
What is it about the medical/insurance field that draws incompetent employees like moths to a flame?
Sorry you're having to endure that. I'd probably have gone postal by now.
By 
Amy, at
23:20
Orpheus - I'd love to hire assistants, but then I'd be stuck paying workman's comp. after the hospital gives them a stroke too. I'm glad you like my new look, and I'm glad my picture didn't ruin it! :-P
Kateastrophe & Iselyahna - Giggling was the last thing I expected to be doing today, but I am totally giggling and blushing and giggling and blushing all over again! You guys are too sweet!
Kateastrophe - Good luck with the dentist. I hope the situation doesn't progress beyond its current stage of ridiculousness!
Dawg - Exactly! Hospitals are masters of the double standard. As far as this specific issue goes, I've gone through this with other hospitals several times, and every one of them except this one wrote off the charges because it was their fault.
Bureaucratic laziness does not surprise me. What surprises me is that they don't understand that cutting corners will only require more effort on their part when they have to reckon with the people they're screwing over!
And I'm beginning to hate Blogger too. When I no longer have to worry about this $3,000 bill, I'll probably consider moving.
Amy - The insurance field is run by non-medical people making medical decisions. The medical field seems to be staffed by a mix of exemplary people and idiotic/dishonest people. If you're lucky, you won't have to deal with too many of the latter. I'm not so lucky.
By Girl, Dislocated, at
01:41
ok - you are seriously gorgeous, and have a spark in your eye that matches your independent bits. I loved the way the old template framed the eggs, and the flowery background was something quite unique, but keep going at it - it's fun to play! Ummmm... am I disturbed if I enjoy writing on my eggs?
By rizlablue, at
09:01
Let it go to court. Ask the judge to make sure the insurance company is included. It will eventually get resolved in your favor. It might even be worth getting a lawyer for, even though it's small claims. Email me if you want to talk about it further.
And if that's your real picture, I am impressed that you finally posted it! You're gorgeous!
By Avitable, at
09:02
I agree with Avi-let it go to court. You could also contact the California and/or New Jersey Attorney General and report the whole mess. See what they can do.
Love the background and your picture!!
By Not a Granny, at
11:51
Riz - That's so very nice of you, thank you! Until I break something, I'll keep messing around with things. And writing on eggs is totally cool, disturbed or not!
Avitable - I was considering letting it go to court, but I'm going to be applying for student loans soon, with no one who could possibly co-sign, so I definitely need to keep my credit report spotless. I may email you after I speak with the president of my insurance company tomorrow, though. :(
And that's definitely my real picture, so thank you for the kind compliment! :)
Not a granny - Thank you! If I can't get this taken care of on my own, they will have people more powerful than me to reckon with!
By Girl, Dislocated, at
00:39
I really like the new look! It will be interesting to see how it morphs until you get it perfect! I'm also going to agree with everyone else...I like your picture, its nice to know who you are talking with! And last good luck with the hospital/insurance! I hate them all! They only thing that gives me satisfaction is that I'm a firm believer in karma so I'm hoping that they burn in hell for all the crap they put everyone through!
Hope you get though it all somehow...and Happy Thanksgiving!
Chrissy
By , at
21:53
Firstly, I have no idea how I missed this post.
Secondly, you are lovely.
Thirdly, I don't have a condition that would predispose me to bursting a blood vessel, but I swear I would have lost my freakin' mind and probably have screamed, cried, laughed and laughed and cried together. When I get stressed, I always have hysterical laughter...maniacal, hysterical laughter. It's very attractive.
But honey, for such a young girl, you've got my complete respect for not climbing a clock tower.
I should write my my $500 trash bill that started out at $12.83 in 2001. I still deal with that even now and I'm astounded that I've stayed away from clock towers.
I love your posts. You write incredibly well.
By Miss Ann Thrope, at
23:52
Chrissy - Thank you! I'm glad you like the new look, and hopefully all the morphing won't get irritating! :P My Thanksgiving was great (all the business offices are closed, so that was a nice break at the very least), and I hope yours was too!
Miss Ann - That is so nice of you! Thank you. :) Maybe I did lose my mind without knowing it (which would be a byproduct of a lost mind), but it would be soo much cooler if I had your maniacal laughter! And 2001? Do they really have absolutely nothing better to pursue than a bill that's almost 7 years old? Did they put it on your credit report in 2001? If so, doesn't that mean you can just ignore it until the 7-year mark in 2008 when it has to be deleted? I promise not to climb a clock tower if you don't! ;)
By Girl, Dislocated, at
18:48
I know you said that you have a medical condition that predisposes you to bursting blood vessels, but good grief! I think that would have caused anyone with or without the condition to blow a blood vessel. And there really is no statute of limitations? I thought there was...huh. Anyways, I hope you get this junk figured out quick...I hate dealing with hospitals and bills.
By Ilexa Belladonna, at
17:01
Ilexa belladonna - The insurance companies have their own statute of limitations of some sort (their timely filing period), there's a statute of limitations when it comes to your credit report (7 years usually, but 11 years for bankruptcies), but hospitals and collection agencies can go after you for as long as they feel like going through the trouble. It really is ridiculous... just one out of a million reasons to avoid hospitals! :)
By Girl, Dislocated, at
18:22
I have a headache from just reading about the troubles you are having, I can't imagine actually having them :( I hope this situation is solved within the near future!
By Sarcastica, at
23:52
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